I Was There
by ArmidaLore01
Summary: One-shot. In which Lori never was never alive in the beginning and Shane had a completely different obsession. Takes places at the CDC. WARNING: man/man, slash!


Completely obsessed with this show! This is my very first fanfiction about The Walking Dead, so please no flames and constructive criticism is welcomed.

Summary: In which Lori never was never alive in the beginning and Shane had a completely different obsession. Takes places at the CDC.

Disclaimer: I have no rights over the Walking Dead characters; they belong rightfully to Robert Kirkman.

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The sound of a door slamming caused Rick to jump slightly and whip around, startled at the sudden interruption. Upon recognizing the source of the scare, Rick huffed in amusement, turning briefly to return the novel to its proper shelf. "Damnit Shane, don't sneak up on me like that. Coulda shot you dead had I had my gun."

The left side of Shane's mouth quirked up into a half-smirk, and the man trudged into the room. The sway of the man's walk was familiar to Rick, and leaning back against the wall of books, he commented, "Had a little too much to drink there, brother?"

Shane 'hmm'ed in melancholic amusement, stumbling to a halt some yards in front of Rick. He rubbed a hand through his face almost wearily, and Rick noticed he was slightly mumbling to himself. He caught the word "brother" in the mess of words leaving Shane's mouth, and somewhere in the back of his mind he noticed and was surprised that the word held a tinge of disgust and anger.

"... Shane?"

Shane stopped in his musings, glancing back up at Rick. His expression was utterly blank of all emotion, and Rick found himself swallowing nervously. He wondered why. But before he could ask, a sad smile appeared on Shane's face, emphasizing the tired look to his eyes, and the sudden pain that was evident there.

"Y'know, man, you were never supposed to leave that hospital," Shane said, his voice raspy and thick with slurs from the alcohol. Rick blinked, not knowing what to say in response. He didn't have to dwell on it as Shane continued, "You were dead. You were. I was there, y'know, when that hospital got overrun. And, I mean, Jesus…"

Shane scratched at his head, dropping his heavy gaze to the ground momentarily. "I was there when the military came through and shot all of those people, nurses, doctors, all of them. I was there when the walkers came through those doors and just launched themselves at everyone, eating, tearing people apart. _I was there_."

Rick took a few hesitant steps forward, reaching a hand out to place on Shane's shoulder. "Shane, c'mon. You've had a lot to drink. Let's get you to bed, alright- "

He was abruptly cut off as Shane suddenly walked forward, hands gripping Rick's biceps firmly and pushed him back until Rick's back hit the wall almost painfully. Rick grunted as he felt his spine hit the shelves, turning his semi-wide, bewildered eyes back to his best friend.

"I was there," Shane almost choked out, his eyes turning misty and more bloodshot than they already were, "when you were laying in that hospital bed, pale as Death itself, just laying there, not responding to me, not waking up when I begged you, I_ begged you_ to wake up so I could have you there with me." Shane's voice was becoming increasingly louder and frantic with everything he was recounting from that day, and Rick couldn't find the words to cut in with. "Then I placed my head on your chest to feel for a pulse, and_ I did not hear one_. I was there, and you were _dead_!"

Rick gulped as he listened to his friend unloading his pain; it was like a punch to the gut. Shane had suffered a great deal while he was in that coma, and Rick knew he had to be a little traumatized. Hell, roles reversed, he knew he would be. He also knew Shane wouldn't being saying this much to him if he wasn't drunk; he had dug deep within himself to retrieve those dark, horrible memories, memories Rick knew he'd much rather forget than share. Shaking slightly, Rick placed his hand gently on Shane's upper arm.

Shane's wild eyes turned to watch the action, and he snapped his eyes back to Rick, who noticed that the normal mischievous, playful gleam was gone from the dark brown orbs, replaced with a burning intensity that was boring holes into Rick's own eyes. Shane's grip was becoming increasingly tighter, his nose practically nudging Rick's nose.

"When I saw you lying there, all that blood coming out of you, dying right in front of me-"

"Shane… Shane, c'mon man, let me go."

"-I couldn't breathe. I couldn't fucking _breathe_ because you were dying-"

"Shane, let go! You're hurting me, brother!"

"And then you were dead, and I felt like I had died with you and I couldn't take it! I couldn't take it-"

"Shane, let go!"

"-because I love you."

Rick's breath hitched, eyes widening at the other cop's confession, his muscles seizing.

_What_?

"Shane mmph!"

Shane's lips descended on Rick's harshly, cutting off the man's reply. A shocked noise emerged from the back of Rick's throat and his eyes, if possible got even wider. Immediately, he began to struggle against the other man, pushing at his shoulders frantically.

After a moment's struggle, Rick was able to pull away from Shane's attacking mouth with a small popping sound, stretching his face away from Shane. "Shane, please-!"

"Rick, listen, please listen, I love you, I love you so much," Shane muttered against Rick's skin, drunkenly trying to plead his case; the loss of Rick's lips didn't seem to faze him as he instead worked down to Rick's exposed neck, licking, biting, sucking.

"Shane!"

"Stop it, stop it, please," Shane pleaded, pressing his hips against Rick's to cease some of Rick's struggles; Rick only jumped and fought even more against Shane's hold upon feeling a hard bulge inside Shane's sweatpants pressed against his upper thigh. "Please, I _love_ you, Rick-"

"No, stop it Shane, you're drunk-"

"Don't act like you don't want this, I know you do-"

"Get your hands off me! Let me go!"

"Rick, it's alright, there's nobody here, please-"

"Get off of me, Shane!"

"Rick, _please_-!"

And suddenly Rick felt one of Shane's hands let go of his left arm, going down to cup his crotch, rubbing it.

With a yell, he placed his hands on Shane's chest and shoved as hard as he could, sending Shane stumbling back a few inches; the man still had a bruising grip on his right arm. Before Shane had a chance to react, Rick withdrew one of his fists and sent a powerful punch at Shane's jaw. Shane fell back with a cry, finally releasing Rick.

Rick stayed where he was, back against the wall of books, staring at Shane with wide, almost terrified eyes; there were already bruises forming on his upper arms, and his lips and neck were slightly red. His knuckles throbbed.

Shane stood a few feet away from him, hand clutching his injured jaw, staring.

And that's all they could do. Stare. It was only broken when Shane dropped his gaze as his hand covered his mouth, eyebrows pinching together as Shane's face just completely crumbled into a heartbroken, tearful grimace.

Then Shane turned around and walked back to the exit, opening the door. He slammed his fist on the wall next to it before he disappeared behind the door, slamming it shut behind him.

The sound of the door slamming caused Rick to jump slightly, an air of finality surrounding him as he slumped down to the ground, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes.


End file.
